Addicted to Drama

June 27, 2012

Charlie Sheen made an interesting statement on Entertainment Tonight. The question was, "What are you addicted to?" His answer was simple and something I have found with many clients and people I've met along the way, "I'm addicted to drama!" We know this has to do with the way the brain is wired, and chemistry being off - which goes by many names and personality disorders.

I have endless clients looking for a balanced relationship with a somewhat normal partner, as all people have issues and are set in their ways in how they should live their lives - with some degree of pleasure - and what makes them function best.

And so I always ask - while pointing to an empty chair across from me during a reading - "If that person was sitting here with us now - nice, stable, hardworking, little to no issues, would you want to be with him/her?" My client looks over, processes, and always replies, "I'm used to issues and would get bored with him/her quickly." Face it - if you're programmed for drama - you will attract it - and it will burn you out - all the while you're seeking healing and help and thinking, "How can I find peace in my life?"

People don't want partners with problems. My answers is - don't live together - just play. Yet many people want to share and live with someone who is there each day ... minus their faults which are supposed to be left at the door when they come home. None of this makes sense in the cycles of life in the human experiment, but that's the way it is down here.

If you're addicted to drama the chemistry in your brain is off. Partners - you will most likely attract another person who lives in drama - repeating this pattern over and over again - and will burn out from the experience or at the try least feel hurt - needing months and a shrink to heal. When you've had enough - you either live alone or finally attract a person who does not live in drama and feel good about that relationship rather than feeling bored. Life is about emotions and 'feeling'. There is just so much drama one can face.

Another frequent scenario ... you will live with or marry the person who is stable and a caretaker - yet seek a lover who is hot and horny and dysfunctional. It all sounds funny from the outside until you live through it. Worse is trying to decide which person to be with - hot or not. Can a normal person be hot? Yes ... and on and on in the quest/request for the heart.

Anxiety is running rampant. Do you refuse to get counseling because you know-it-all and think you can resolve issues alone? Good luck with that as 2012 is half over and you wonder, Where has it gone and what has changed in my life this year?

Relationships are never easy.

75 Percent of Women Say They Won't Date Unemployed Men   Live Science - June 27, 2012
While losing your job may be a devastating blow to your career aspirations, it may be an even bigger blow to your personal life, according to new research conducted by a dating service. A significant majority of women said they would not date a man who was unemployed. Just one-third of men said they would date an unemployed woman. Overall, 75 percent of women said they would be unlikely to date an unemployed man, with 33 percent saying no outright. Another 42 percent of women answered maybe when asked about the possibility of dating an unemployed man. That answer, however, came with the stipulation that those women would not want to spend a lot of time in the relationship if the man did not have a plan in place. Just 21 percent of women said they would date an unemployed man.


This week I asked women and gay men if they would date an unemployed man and they all said No! That may sound shallow but here's the thing ... though men complain about taking care of women - most adult women work in western society and do not want to get involved with a man who they have to take care of or can't take care of himself. We all know about the economic crisis and high unemployment rate, but in a world of people looking to avoid drama and just have some fun, the unemployed man calls to mind negative emotions and issues he is going through with an unsettled future. It just gets too heavy.

Women who support men who stay home and do nothing - wonder about how they spend their time - such as having an affair with another woman while they are hard at work. Men who don't work often fall under the heading of "crash and burn" from a former career and now want to reinvent themselves which means -- they could be looking for a female caretaker so they can play metaphysics or life coach, are suffering from depression, or remain in your life while they work on issues then dump you when they find themselves. At the end of the day - if you date an unemployed guy - he better be good in bed - not a substance abuser who needs to mellow out on weed every day - not want money from you to start up his own business - or waste your time waiting for him to find himself. Go with the guy who is balanced and can create a productive reality even in today's economy. They are out there.