Ghosting is the act of abruptly ending all contact with someone, usually a romantic partner or friend, without explanation. It's essentially a silent breakup or a way to avoid confrontation or difficult conversations. While convenient for the person doing the ghosting, it can be deeply hurtful and confusing for the person being ghosted.
Ghosting, simmering and icing are colloquial terms that describe the practice of suddenly ending all communication and avoiding contact with another person without any apparent warning or explanation and ignoring any subsequent attempts to communicate.
In today's digital world, ghosting is often seen as an easy escape from confrontation or emotional discomfort, facilitated by the anonymity and convenience of online platforms.
The term originated in the early 2000s, typically referring to dating and romantic relationships. In the following decade, the use of the term increased, which has been attributed to the increasing popularity of social media and online dating apps. The term has also expanded to refer to similar practices among friends, family members, employers and businesses.
A person ghosting typically has little acknowledgment of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.
While "ghosting" refers to "disappearing from a special someone's life mysteriously and without explanation",numerous similar behaviors have been identified, that include various degrees of continued connection with a target.
For example, "Caspering" is a "friendly alternative to ghosting. Instead of ignoring someone, you're honest about how you feel, and let them down gently before disappearing from their lives."
Then there is the sentimental and positive, but also ghost-related in origin, Marleying, which is "when an ex gets in touch with you at Christmas out of nowhere".
"Cloaking" is another related behavior that occurs when an online match blocks someone on all apps while standing them up for a date.
Ghosting, caspering, marleying and cloaking may be seen as belonging to a family of related behavior, but the exact same behavior may be explained by different causes, potentially differing significantly, especially in severity. Read more ...
Ghosted by a friend? Expert tips on how to handle the hurt PhysOrg - July 24, 2025
When we talk about "ghosting," we usually think it relates to dating. But what happens when you've been ghosted by someone you've known for years - your childhood best friend, a parent, a child?
These disappearances can be harder to explain, and even harder to heal from. It's also surprisingly common.
For instance, one study showed 38.6% of people have been ghosted by a friend. So why do people ghost those closest to them? What impact does it have on those left behind? How do you begin to move on?
Ghosting is when someone abruptly, or gradually, cuts off all communication without explanation. Whether it's a friend, family member or love interest, the signs are much the same - messages left on read or calls ignored. Sometimes you're blocked.
Ghosting doesn't just happen online. It can also play out in person, when someone deliberately ignores you - avoiding eye contact, refusing attempts to engage in conversation, pretending you're not there.
Unlike relationships that gradually wither over time, or end abruptly after an argument, ghosting is a one-sided withdrawal from a relationship that happens without closure. For the person left behind, it can feel like grief.
Why do people ghost family and friends?
People often ghost friends for the same reasons they ghost romantic partners.
Ghosting is more common - and considered more acceptable - in brief or casual romantic relationships or friendships. That's when people may ghost because they lose interest, wish to avoid confrontation, or find it easier than facing the discomfort of ending things directly.
In longer-term relationships, ghosting may stem from incompatibility, be prompted by different priorities, physical distance, or growing apart over time.
Major life transitions - such as becoming a parent, entering the workforce, moving, or going through a divorce - can often provide the catalyst for someone to shrink their social network.
In some cases, ghosting is driven by self-preservation or concerns for personal safety, particularly when ghosting involves family members.
People report ghosting in response to toxic, emotionally draining, or abusive relationships, often when previous attempts to resolve issues were met with abuse or aggression. In such instances, ghosting isn't so much an avoidance strategy, but a last resort to preserve someone's safety and psychological well-being.
Ghosting has also been linked to certain personality traits. One study found people who reported ghosting others tended to score higher in narcissism (tend towards entitlement and lack of empathy) and borderline traits (so have trouble regulating emotions and are impulsive).
Why does it hurt so much?
People often ghost as they hope to spare the other person the pain of rejection. But that is rarely the case.
Being ghosted by someone you've been close to for a long time is often associated with grief, much like the death of the loved one. After the initial shock, there is often anger and sadness.
Ghosting also involves "ambiguous loss." This ambiguity - the uncertainty and lack of closure - can almost freeze the grief process, making it particularly hard to move on.
In addition to grief-like emotions, ghosting is also often associated with self-blame, rumination, feelings of worthlessness, and trust issues that can affect how someone relates to others in the future.
There's no easy fix and you can't force someone to communicate with you if they don't want to. But research points to some strategies that may help you move on and ease the pain:
Acknowledge your feelings. Grief-like emotions are a normal reaction to being ghosted. Accept your emotions and express them in healthy ways. This is better than suppressing them, which is linked to depression, low self-esteem and reduced well-being.
Seek social support. Social support is linked to a range of mental health benefits.
Talk about your experience with friends, family or a mental health professional.
This can help reduce feelings of isolation and low self-worth. Greater social support is also associated with post-traumatic growth - positive psychological change that can emerge after a challenging life event.
Choose self-compassion over rumination. It's easy to get caught in the trap of replaying what happened and wondering what went wrong.
But this can prolong distress and make it harder to move on. Instead treat yourself as you would a close friend - with kindness, compassion and care.
Self-compassion has been linked to reduced rumination, anxiety and depression. Exercise, mindfulness and spending time in nature are examples of self-care with similar psychological benefits.
Create your own closure. Being ghosted can often leave you stuck in a cycle of uncertainty and unanswered questions. You may never get an explanation and waiting for answers will only make it harder to move on.
Writing a letter you don't send can help create closure. This form of expressive writing can help you articulate your thoughts and emotions and make sense of your experience - and is linked to a range of psychological benefits.