When Your Best Friend Leaves You For a Romantic Partner

Reality is about coming together, experiencing, challenges, separation, and loss. All things change and with that the dynamics of friendships.

There are times in our lives when we have a best friend with whom we share everything. We share experiences and understand each other in ways no one else can. Your best friend is usually of the same sex, but sometimes may be of the opposite sex. You spend much of your free time together, share your secrets and fantasies, meet for dinner, travel, and enjoy the daily conversations your have in person, on the phone, or in email. This is the first person you call when something exciting happens in your life.

Then one day everything changes. Your best friend meets a new romantic partner.

How will this affect your friendship? This all goes to the emotions and maturity of the friends, and the partner.

In the best case scenario, the partner/lover is functional and has no issues with the bond between you and your friend. That person is secure in who they are, in the romantic relationship, and respects your friendship and enjoys having your friend around.

Falling in love becomes all-consuming for many people. Once in that space, the rest of their lives seem to have little meaning as one tries to maintain the high frequency of falling in love. Of course we know the real world creates issues and dramas, so that 'high' does not last long as people settle into their daily routines.

If the lover comes between you and your best friend, it is normal to experience feelings of abandonment, jealousy, anger, resentment, among other negative emotions.

If the lover has emotional problems and is not a positive force your friend's life, it is difficult to watch the learning lessons your friend has chosen to experience. You may tell them the truth about their partner, or just move on.

We are ruled by our emotions, especially when we are young. Life in the physical is about learning lessons based on choices that allow us to experience the full gamut of emotions while we are here. No one's lessons should be taken away, no matter how much it hurts. We all make mistakes, and often pay the price with the loss of a friendship. If you disapprove of your best friend's lover, that can cause a permanent rift.

When you are in love, chemistry and karma, you sometimes lose perspective and make mistakes hurting the feelings of those around you. In a dysfunctional relationship you become aware that your lover is abusive, but sometimes you cannot leave.

Sometimes your best friend is a 'soap opera junkie' in the sense that they experience emotions vicariously through the day to day dramas of your relationship, listening to every sordid detail, and loving it. This may create a bond between you to your best friend again, one that you both need. Your relationship with your best friend now focuses on your relationship problems. Don't dwell over and over about your issues with your lover, how mistreated and misunderstood you are, and expect your former best friend to listen forever. The friend will soon expect you to come to your senses and leave your lover. As we know, many people are too emotionally weak to leave relationships and stay on and on. In that case, the best friend will move on.

If the new lover turns out to be the possessive type, demanding all of your best friend's free time, this will end your friendship. You can't be possessive in this game or you will lose.

The pain of losing your best friend is like a death. Alas this is a lesson in letting-go and understanding that nothing lasts forever. If you lose a best friend to their new lover, you will find another friend.

The pain of separation is part of the human equation. It takes us to the primal pain when your soul spark split into twin/two aspects, one above and one below, when half of your consciousness spiraled into a physical body as half waits above, in spirit as a 'guide'. Your mission.... remember who and what you are. Create balance to prepare for the reunion of self, the merging of yin and yang, culminating with the separation of consciousness from your physical body as you spiral back to the nature of who you are, a soul spark of light.