Thursday October 29, 2015

Some people caretake from a place of love - others from a place of obligation (programming, karma).

A new study reveals that a patient's marriage has significant contributions to his/her recovery. Compared to patients who were separated, divorced, or widowed, patients who were married had higher chances of surviving after a surgical operation.

Many people remain in bad marriages knowing they will one day have a caretaker. Actually, if you are alone, you focus on taking care of yourself and will often be less likely to attract a situation that requires recovery.

There are many good examples of people who have a loving relationship and don't mind care-taking each other though if asked if they were widowed would they marry again and repeat the pattern - the answer is always NO.

On the downside - if the caretaker wanted out of the marriage - one must consider that the person who had the surgery might have created the experience to entrap their partner perhaps not consciously aware of it. Even worse is the pattern where this perpetuates and the person with the surgery recovers but their partner is so exhausted from care-taking they have an accident or illness so the recovered spouse now has to take care of them. And so a cycle of caretaker begins ... continuing until one person dies.

Are you a caretaker? I'm not ... don't have the energy. That is one reason I remain single. I am also one of those people who prefer to be alone when I'm sick. I sleep, take my meds if needed, watch TV, and focus all of my energies on healing without interruptions. Many people follow my pattern while others prefer to be taken care of.